A New York Times article about the increased stature of USA Today features an exceptionally mundane headline from the old days:

Several former reporters and editors remember a 1983 headline as emblematic: “Men, Women: We’re Still Different.”

Indeed, it could have been a contender against the selections from Michael Kinsley’s 1986 boring headline contest at The New Republic, which included these classics:

Trade, A Two-Way Street
Beyond the News, Larger Issues
University of Rochester Decides to Keep Name
Surprises Unlikely in Indiana
Prevent Burglary by Locking House, Detectives Urge
Debate Goes on Over the Nature of Reality